오후5시에 / At 5pm

오후5시에 / At 5pm

(No, this is not going to be written in Korean... I wish I could!)

Sometimes things happen because we plan for them. Some other times, things happen even though we don't plan for them. Planned or not, expected or not, predicted or not, things always happen for a reason.

어느 날 오후5시에 (one day, at 5pm), an unplanned event occurred, very simple and futile, yet it generated a series of events that changed lived. "Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl" decided to jump out of it, into the bigger ocean, come what may. Side to side they swam down a stream and reached that destination they had in mind from the start. A harbor for relaxation, a place for seclusion, a spot so close yet so far from what they escaped from. And so they rested.

It's been a while since they last met in such circumstances and they had some catching up to do.
The old mixed with the new, the good displayed after the bad, a little bit of this, a little bit of that... all constantly spiced up with a handful of humor and sarcasm. Yes, you got it... It was the typical magical recipe for temporary happiness, and that was good enough.

오후5시 (5 pm) turned tables. Liquids kept flowing one sip after the other and solids kept filling one space at a time. And the talks! Punctuated by a nod, interrupted by a drink, accentuated by a laugh, the conversation followed the rhythm of the clock, and they lost track of time.

오후5시 happened for a reason, and the reason were feelings. As the days went by, the two lost souls adventured deeper and deeper in the ocean, going down a new path each time. It was exciting, it was different and it was fun, until all the ways converged to one particular place: obscurity. And for a second, the tables turned again, back to initial position.

No, don't feel sad! All the ways might have led them to darkness, the two lost souls were full of light, deep inside. They just forgot about it and they needed to be reminded of it. Plus, nothing can be bright forever! Just like the cycle of sun, everything needs to be dark before shining bright again. In a joint effort of the mind, they focused and little by little brought back light into dusk.

The 오후5시 experience didn't last long but it was heavy in emotions. No matter what happens next, a small lesson was learnt and eyes were opened... To an uglier present maybe, but that was the only way towards a brighter future, and they both knew it.

My 오후5시 experience tied my heart to another and taught me that no matter how dark it gets, there will always be light. The memory is happy, and I was asked to share it.

From now on, no matter where you are, no matter who you are, no matter what you are doing, always remember that it would always be 5 pm somewhere. In honor of that, raise a glass... wait, don't... never mind!

In honor of that, even for a very short moment, stop what you are doing, think about something happy and smile to yourself, turn tables. You might worry you would look like an idiot. Well maybe, but only to those who don't understand, and who cares what they think anyways.

Make that brief moment of swift happiness the reason for 5 pm to happen.


매일 오후 5시에 좋은 일만 생긴다.

The Tifighra within.

The Tifighra within.

"Hello, my name is Tifighra and I come from a land that stretches to no end."

Well, that is the impression you get when you are there. No need to bother your brain trying to imagine a land with no limits because it has limits. At least geographically. In my heart and mind, its beauty ran until the horizon and beyond. And I loved it.

But love is love, and it will always leave you at some point. Even true love leaves you, but in a cooler way. It boomerang-leaves you. It eventually comes back, but for it to do so, it has to leave first.

My love for my land left me. The routine, my lack of patience, my deep curiosity and my boldness sprawled a perfectly smooth red carpet right in front of me. And so I left, looking for that lost love.

I traveled. Days of traveling. Days before I reached the waters. I long heard stories about these blue swaying carpets, of all shades and sizes, of all tempers and moods, soft and caring yet unexpected and fearful. And I needed to sail them.

“Hello, my name is  Tifighra and I sail the seas.”

The first time I saw my reflection was the first time I looked into its beautiful blue eyes. A sea it was! Prettier than the sky on its prettiest days, calmer than the hottest nights of my land and swaying in a rhythm like a roaming caravan camel ride. The breeze was cooler, the smell stronger and the sight bluer. And I felt comfort.

The sea showed me an image of myself I was never able to see before, a clarity in the picture... and it hit me. My name is Tifighra and now I see why. I smiled at the reflection. It wasn’t pretty. Some parts were ugly even, but I got to see them. And the excitement of this new discovery! It just fulfilled me! It didn’t matter what I was looking at. What mattered was that I could see it. And I sailed again, happy. 

Seas, oceans, rivers… As long as there was a connection. I wandered, I loved and I saw it all. The shades, the sizes, the tempers and the mood swings. I felt the cradle on kind days and the angst on less kind ones. I also saw my reflection many times after the first time. Sometimes I paid attention to details, sometimes I cried, sometimes I laughed… but most of the time, I didn’t care much. I looked at my reflection, smiled, looked into its eyes, through its eyes and just spaced out.

The days went by, resembling each other more and more. Differences turned into similarities, excitement into routine and I started feeling the new love leave, just like the one before did. As I sailed the waters, the feeling of my land got to me. I left trying to look for the love that left me but its absence found me.

I was lost. Lost at sea. Lost the lust to sail. But I stayed. I stayed for those moments where the blue mirrors showed me Tifighra. Each time I got a different image, and each time, for a few moments, I looked at it, then I looked away. 

Until I lost the desire to look at it. Days went by without me checking up on it. Weary from the trip, I just gave up and let the waves guide my way. I saw a risk in it, and I loved the thrill of it. And I took it.

“Hello, my name is Tifighra and the waves brought me here”

I was half-asleep when I reached that new destination. I felt the waves slow down but I carried on with my half-sleeping. First that touched me was the air. Fresher than what I got used to, lighter and fruitier. Then the sounds! Music and combination of melodies that were completely unknown to me. 

I opened my eyes. The sun was brightly sending its rays to direct my sight, and I followed. The scenery! Different! New colors, a bit of green, a bit of yellow, added to the already existing blue. Browns, reds and purples! All in a harmonious exhibition of beauty. An explosion of senses that woke my numb ones and started bringing back a bit of life in them.

And then the waters! Without even thinking, I looked!

“Long time no see Tifighra”. 

I knew exactly why I was given that name by then. Or at least, that's what I thought... But the picture this time was very different. Shocking… horrifying… disturbing... An image that seemed to reflect a new me from even deeper depths than I could allow. I cared! and I was scared!

Why? Why were the most amazing waters reflecting this image of me? What was different about those eyes lying at their bottom?

Was it me? Did my days sailing the waters turn me into this? Was it because I stopped paying attention?

Have I always been like this? Is it the real image of me that no other blue mirrors could reflect?

And I thought… and I abuse my brain with work. And I obsessed. And I cried. And I asked myself why. And I yelled and screamed in silence.

… until I really figured it out.

“My name is Tifighra because I am one”

I was given this name from the moment I was born by those who knew. I just lived in denial.

And now it is there, right in front of me, crystal clear reflection of that reptile inside me. 

More than just a picture, it was a feeling! Somewhere between the heart and the guts, somewhere along the spine all the way up to the brain... And I cared even more. And I got scared even more! What the waters reflected of me wasn’t only what my face showed. It was also what they saw in me, what they thought of me.

I wanted to run away, to face a new destination and escape this image of myself. I felt the need to run back to my land of golds and browns, with no blue mirrors to self-reflect, with no truth to face... 

My wanderlust-addicted self would have never expected that, but as much as I wanted to run away, I wanted to stay. I could already smell risk, danger, fear, arousal and madness everywhere and I wanted to face them all, to feel them all, to taste them all.

Would these waters want me to stay? Would they accept? Would they want to face that reflection they project of me like I wanted to face the jeopardy I was sensing all around? Do I give explanations or would they just be “more excuses”?

Too many questions; not enough answers. I didn't know what I was doing but if the waters wouldn’t want me to stay, I’d leave eventually... They'd push me eventually...

But for now, I am not a sailor anymore. I will stay.

“Hello, my name is Tifighra and it means snake”. 

The Post-Cheated-On Girl on Girl

The Post-Cheated-On Girl on Girl

So here's the deal... If you are above your 20s, chances that you were cheated on are pretty high, whether you're a lady or a gentlemen or anything close enough.
Now as a "lady" (or something close enough) myself, I feel the need to share this thing that my fellow ladies/girls/women/whatever tend to do and that annoys me somehow.
Situation is you've been cheated on, you're a mess and so your Super Girl Friends run to your rescue following a certain rescue technique that goes as follow:

Step 1: That girl on girl support, the I feel for you sista/ screw them kind of love, the confidence booster, the kind that makes you feel that the entire world is at your feet:

- "OMG he/she's such a ***** (insert swearword)! I canNOT believe he/she cheated on you with that ***** (insert other swearword)"
- "Believe me you ARE better off without them"
- "They don't deserve you, it's a 100% their loss"
-  "There are a million other ***** (insert gender, depending on one's sexual orientation) a million times better who will love you truly and faithfully"

Step 2: The it's time to move on talk, the don't worry I'm here for you and won't let you fall again speech:

- "No way! you are not getting back together"
- "I'm not letting you fall for their lies again, I am doing this for you! to protect you"
- "You don't love them, you're just still under shock/ hurt. You'll thank me later"
- "This is not any mistake! It doesn't JUST HAPPEN! You cannot believe them! They are fooling you again! Remember: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice... You know this"
- "You need to forget about them and carry on with your life. No you are not alone, I am here for you. ***** (insert girl #1 name), ***** (insert girl #2 name), ***** (insert girl #3 name) ... ***** (insert girl #WTF name)! we're all here for you."
- "You're too nice! Trust me, if I were you I wouldn't even acknowledge their existence anymore. CHEAT ON ME? That's the last thing they'd do in their sad lives"

Step 3: The everyday reminder of how pretty you look, how comfortable you "new" life is, how free you are, how blabla you blabla... as long as it is the culprit-free life. Yeah the one in which you are single again! But hey! "Single AND proud" because your girl friends say so, and "You life is so much better now that it is drama-free" because, (yes, you guessed) your girl friends say so.

Now the brokenhearted disappointed hurt broken piece of human that you are at that early stage of the single life will enjoy every word your girl friends say to you, them who truly love you and know you more than anyone else. You will appreciate the attention, you will love to share the first type of anger towards the person who cheated on you and the second type of anger towards the third party that was at the origin of all of this...
Bottom line, your girl friends understand you, feel for you and you love them for being there for you, for boosting your morale, for supporting you and for being a source of strength for you to move on with your life, start a brighter chapter step by step. Even if at times you feel like you can't do it, you imagine how they would rock and roll if they were in your situation, and you get inspired.

Nothing equals such friendships, and you promised yourself you'd be there for them girl friends, to return the support and help you received when they need it.

And knowing human nature, one of your girl friends, if not all, will eventually sit on that pity party chair and wear the crown of the cheated on's.

Oh boy.... this is so bad.... why do people do this?
You know exactly how it feels... you want to cry with them, scream with them, badmouth every piece of the souls of the culprits- if they have any... tshh-
You start planning help missions disguised in Girls Nights Out and let them mix so much poison, by 2 am, they wouldn't even recognize you.

Oh boy... you're ready! Bring it on sadness! You am pumped, you are there for your friends just like they were there for you. You're not gonna let them slide back into the cheater's arms, you're not gonna let them be fooled by the lies and fake promises they will get told...

Until she hits you with "yeah, they cheated, but they apologized. I know they really love me. Everyone makes mistakes. I forgave them"And BAM, back together, snogging in the corner during that party you were supposed to be her date for; girl power and all that crap.

Oh boy... WAIT WHAT? Sorry... Rewind please! You forgave them?
What happened to all the "you deserve better", the "no way I am letting you fall for their lies again? all the "this is not any mistake" and the "fool me once fool me twice fool me bizillice phrase"?

Oh boy... you also wanted to forgive your cheater. You also know they truly loved you. They apologized to you too... But girl friend said if she were you she would **** (insert bullshit 1)... if she were you she wouldn't **** (insert bullshit 2). And you followed, because she knows better and you trust her. Now she is you , You've been in her situation before, and all she finds to say to you is "you don't understand, what we have is unique."
What they have is uni... what? Does that mean what you had was....

Oh boy... You just got slapped by something along the lines of "no absolutely NOT, you can't even be friends with them after what they did to you" and something along the other lines of "yes, you know, he/she cheated on me more than once but I love him/her, so I am back with him/her" from the exact same person.

Oh yeah, this exact same thing in the paragraph right above happened to me, personally, yes me the person writing all this... And I witnessed it so many times I lost count...
It really bothers me. It annoys me... Why do we do this though? What is it? Hypocrisy? Fear? Denial?

I would really love to know how many of us women have done, been part of or witnessed such thing. And if anyone has an explanation, please I'm all ears, because personally there is nothing I can come up with to explain such behavior.

My Visit to The Tokyo Imperial Palace

My Visit to The Tokyo Imperial Palace

Last summer (July 2013) I had the amazing opportunity to go to Japan for a 5-week-internship with the Advanced Materials Science Department at the University of Tokyo, so of course I seized the chance!!!!!

Japan is amazing, I think no one can deny that, but I won’t be able to discuss it all in one blog post so tonight, I will just talk about the Tokyo Imperial Palace and share some pictures.

The very nice lady who works at my Professor’s office suggested to take me and 3 other friends to the Imperial Palace Garden one day and it was amazing! Thank you so much Makiko-San!   

From  left to right: Makiko-San, Jiaqi, me, Martin and Ciara!

The Tokyo Imperial Palace is located in the Chiyoda area, a short walk away from Tokyo Station. It can be accessed through the “Seimon Ishibashi Bridge” that leads to the main gate over the moats.

It contains several buildings including the main palace where the imperial family lives (but that part was of course guarded and not open for the public… too sad!), some administrative offices, a Kendo arena (where some people were practicing, we could hear them while we were passing by), and of course the amazing huge and very beautiful “East Gardens” open to the public. YAY :)

These gardens are the former site to the Edo castle’s innermost defence circles but only the moats, the walls, the entrance gates and some guardhouses still remain. It took us hours to tour, it was a very hot summer day and we were attacked by some mosquitoes but it was all worth it. We also had a tour guide who was telling us the stories behind the buildings and the different areas of the gardens.

Here are some of the pictures I took, and if you are planning to visit Japan, pay the Imperial Palace Gardens a visit, you won’t regret it. It's kind of calming to walk around them, all green and beautiful. 

PS: if you’re visiting during the summer, don’t forget to put on sun cream, wear a hat and don’t forget your water bottle. If your skin tends to get sun burns quickly, wear a light jacket with long sleeves. 

Some of My Drawings (Mangas)

Some of My Drawings (Mangas)

So I was going through old pictures on my computer and I found pictures of old drawings  of mine so I thought... Why not share some of them on my blog?!?!?!?

I was never really good at drawing, I just like to do it from time to time. It keeps me focused and busy so I don't get to think about things I don't want to think about (what a sentence).

So enough said, I uploaded some of my favorites (some are kind of old), but 100% Japanese anime characters.

Let me know what you think!

PS1: for those who don't know much about Japanese mangas, I added some information under each picture. The first part of the caption will have the name of the character and the second part the name of the anime.

PS2: I copied these drawings. I mean I either saw them on books or on the computer and I copied them. None of them is originally mine!

Different characters, Love Hina

Different characters, Love Hina

Koalla Su, Love Hina

Pain Vs Naruto, Naruto

How I ended up in The Asian Country of South Korea.

How I ended up in The Asian Country of South Korea.

As mentioned briefly in the previous post of my self-introduction, I just graduated from Seoul National University, Seoul, South Korea. 

I originally come from Tunisia, born and raised there for more than 20 years, yet at some point in my life in 2010, I decided to jump out of the secure "easy" life I had always lived in Ariana, Tunisia and to move all the way to Asia and exactly to Seoul, capital of South Korea. 

At the time I was in my second year of university, majoring in Industrial Engineering at the National School of Engineers of Tunis (Ecole National des Ingénieurs de Tunis, french name of it) but I decided to transfer to Seoul National University and change major to... Nuclear Engineering. Yup, I was always interested in nuclear scale "things" and I thought that if I had to go all the way to Seoul, might as well just major in something totally new and non-existent in my country.

Now the reason why I chose Korea wasn't totally my choice. In fact, one of my best friends is half-Chinese and left for Shanghai in 2009 to attend university there. For several reasons, right after I graduated from high school, I wanted to leave Tunisia and go abroad somewhere and this friend of mine suggested that I'd join her in China. 

That sounded like an amazing plan for me, to go all the way to China and share this experience with one of my best friends, but the price was too high. I'm not talking here about real money, but moving to China meant learning Chinese and starting all over again as a freshman (the universities I wanted to attend didn't offer a transferring program); this meant wasting a year or two in the language plus having the 2 years I already studied in my Tunisian University go to waste... and honestly I wasn't ready to spend 2+2+4 years just for a bachelor degree.

So my friend suggested either Japan or Korea, that way we could still be closer to each other and visit each other more often. I personally wanted to end up in Japan, but as my parents were paying, I couldn't allow myself to have them pay for everything (tuition+living expenses+traveling expenses), and Japan isn't the cheapest country out there.

So I decided on Korea, I searched for the list of universities in Seoul and decided that Seoul National University sounded cool, so I went for it.

I had all kind of reactions from people around me; some were surprised and didn't understand why I was leaving now half-way through my education, others laughed at me for choosing Korea as a destination (most people go to Europe, Canada or the USA)... but the most important people around me were my parents, and as they were supportive and encouraging, I just decided to ignore comments and reactions around me and focus on my application, and it went as follow: 

July-August 2010: application procedure

November 2010: reply (positive for me)

February 2011: moving to Korea and starting school on May 2nd, 2011.

As a transfer student, I was supposed to study just 2 years and graduate, but as I had to change major, there were a lot of 2nd year mandatory courses I didn't take in Tunisia and so I stayed in Korea for 3 years instead of only 2. 

During those 3 years I experienced amazing moments as well as horrible ones, but if I had to do it all over again, I'd probably do the same thing (maybe choose a different university instead but yeah :p ).

Now this long story isn't just to tell why and how I ended up in Korea but it's also to encourage people everywhere to move, don't wait for opportunities to come to you, create them and seize them. Be ready to deal with refusals, accept them and just keep on trying until you make it happen. I personally have applied for the UK, Switzerland and France since 2008 and each time I couldn't make it (whether because I wasn't accepted or because I missed the scholarship application deadline etcetc), but I still tried and I ended up in Korea and I don't regret it at all.

As a student, you can go on exchange programs, look for internships abroad, go backpacking wherever you want to. Of course be careful and most importantly ready to accept and respect the differences you will find in other countries and by the time you are back home, you will have carried with you the best memories of your life.

The world is an amazing place full of awesome people and breathtaking places, but most people are too scared to leave what they have even for a short period of time and go somewhere new. Open up your eyes and travel the world while you are young and can do it. Once you settle down, get a serious job or start a family, it becomes harder to stop and start all over again.

JinJu, South Korea.

I come from Earth, where do you come from?

I come from Earth, where do you come from?

I created this blog because I genuinely believe in the existence of life outside of our beloved planet Earth and I am hoping that one day before I'm buried several feet under ground, I'll get a sign or a reply or even a small poke from Them who live on other planets.

No, that's not true... even though I wouldn't complain if Aliens decided to show up in front of me one day and of course befriend me. If they are human haters and want to destroy us all, then... I'm not so sure I'll be glad to see them.

Anyways, yes my brain is this tiny locomotive that breathes out thick smoke as it drives along the random way it found itself on.

More nonsense yet this is me, somehow.

I go by the name of Sahar, born late 80's, freshly graduated with a Bachelor of Science from a "prestigious" (according to rankings) university in Seoul, South Korea, yet I come from Tunisia, all the way back in North Africa.

My loves are reserved for black coffee, dancing, writing, reading and traveling (when I have the time AND money) mostly. I enjoy learning new languages; when I was young I wanted to learn 10 languages. Until now I managed to learn 5, I still have 5 more to go but with age and other factors I think it will be more difficult.

I also like Japanese anime, Sangoku is my one true love but Elfen Lied is my favorite.

I want to travel the world (everyone says so I know), to learn archery, visit all the awesome friends I had once met yet life separated us; I also want to get a Lotus Elise (the car yes) and own a house where I can raise a wolf, a tiger and a snake (a little girl's dream).

My feminine side shows only when I see shoes, sometimes bags, but mostly shoes. I am crazy for them and shoe shopping has proved to calm me down and lighten up my mood when I'm stressed, sad or angry.

I don't know exactly what will go on this blog, some poems of mine for sure and maybe some posts where I will share my thought about any random topic. I will also try and tell some of the past 3 years I spent as a student in Korea, what I learnt there, what I liked the most and what I didn't really like much, etcetc...

  So, let it start!